I'm in complete agreement with ImaUteFan. There is too much temptation
with many forms of social media and so many individuals single or married
don't want to acknowledge the dangers of them. So they keep on doing what
feels good to them. Strong relationships can do without the constant barrage of
There are some people that will cheat regardless of what their spouse or partner
does to help prevent it. There are others that go to get lengths to avoid their
weaknesses in order to stay faithful. They make a conscious choice every day to
be faithful. There is temptation everywhere you go so it has to be a personal
and conscious choice someone makes every day to be faithful.
LOU Montana, you're a great example of someone who believes, and is
informed by the media.I doubt if things are much different now then
nearly twenty years ago, but who knows. More liberals have moved in.
Unfortunately with the advent of the Internet, cell phones, chat rooms,
Instagram, Facebook, etc. there are many forms of infidelity these days.
Cheating is no longer limited to secret meetings in a hotel room. So much of
cheating now is virtual.
I had no idea infidelity was such a huge problem in Utah. Didn't seem to be
that way when I lived there nearly 20 years ago.
How does the examples of Joseph Smith's romantic encounters and Mormon
subsequet practice of polygamy define present day Mormon sexual culture. Is it
basically different from the norms of the social culture at large.
I appreciate this article.The fact is, infidelity usually occurs as
the culmination of many unaddressed problems and seemingly small risks.Interrupt those little things and you can avoid big problems.
I am somewhat uncomfortable about the message implied this article.
"Cheat-proofing" one's marriage seems to imply that (a) spouses who
cheat are justified in cheating ("My spouse didn't do enough to keep me
faithful"), or (b) those whose spouses cheated are responsible for those
infidelities ("If I had only done more, he/she wouldn't have
cheated"). This is akin to "blaming the victim," that the victim got
what was coming to him or her. We don't do this to other types of victims
(e.g., a rape victim doesn't deserve to be raped because he/she was wearing
certain clothing, frequenting certain places, doing certain things, etc.). A
cheater is ALONE responsible for his/her cheating, not his/her partner for
failing to do the things that would have "prevented" the cheating.
Cheaters make active, deliberate choices to be cheaters and spouses/partners
should not play the game of "if I had only" nor blame themselves for
others' choices or actions.
May get some flak for this. Many of the ideas floated in this
article are basically equivalent to wrapping your women in a Burka or Hijab,
Refusing to allow women out of the house without their husbands approval, and so
on. I think it's fine for a couple to say "Hey, I/we have a
weakness with being faithful, so I/we will avoid a gym that has attractive
women/men". It is not fine to say "Everyone should avoid Gym's
with attractive men/women", otherwise they don't care about their
marriage as much as I do. If VP Pence has a weakness for women and
wants to avoid it by not being alone with them. Great. Looks like a handsome
guy, in a position of power. Could be a good idea for him. However,
there's no reason to project that onto Men as a whole or any other
particular couple, nor is it appropriate to label those who have no problem with
dining without a spouse as not caring as much about their marriage. People should take steps necessary to avoid their own personal weakness
(alcohol, gambling, drugs, infidelity), but should not pretend that others who
do not take the same steps are weaker, or care less about it. Everyone has
In Wallerstein's book "The Good Marriage" she said we take mental
photos of our spouse during courtship. During our marriage, we mentally look at
those sweet photos....... especially during life's hard times. The photos
give us strength, warm feelings and help us work together as a team. When
someone cheats, the hurt spouse mentally destroys all those sweet mental photos.
And if the couple makes up and stays married, those sweet photos are still
gone. They cannot bring us pleasure or help us during the hard times. This is
a serious consequence of infidelity.
thank you for the message